Through The Lens
by QuinTwins
Summary: Tegan and Sara fanfic. POV Lindsey. No quincest.
1. Chapter 1

I'd only been in the UK for a few days. The anticipated Europe tour was mid-way through, and it was going well, from what I'd heard from the girls and Sonia.

Last night they played London, which was my first time joining them here in the UK this time. It was a high energy show and Tegan was exhausted afterwards. Even now, as our bus edged its way through the dreary inner city streets of Birmingham, everybody on the bus sensed the growing fatigue which was gradually seeping into the band and crew. But still, it was tour, Sonia was here and I knew that by show time, everybody would be buzzed.

As our bus passed tonight's venue, The Institute in Birmingham, I caught a glimpse of the fans already queuing outside in the street. The UK fans were really something, I remembered from last time. We rounded the corner and our bus parked up.

"Come on, Sara, put your book down already. Let's go. God, I need some air." Tegan was striding down the bus aisle, her exhaustion apparently faded as the excitement for tonight's show was already building. Sara, still quiet, reluctantly stopped reading and stood up. Sara had been distant recently. She was missing Stacey, I could tell. Their relationship had become so intense now. Of course, I was happy for her. She was finally happy. But all this intensity sort of resembled how things were when she was with Emy, and I just hoped she'd not get so absorbed this time. It didn't help that I was here with Tegan now I suppose, especially after the London gig. I hadn't seen Tee for a while and things got a little carried away. Memories of last night drifted into my head and I banished them; I couldn't think about that now. The fans were outside.

"I feel like such a dog", Sonia complained. "I mean look at my hair! I don't know how you girls can stick doing this all the time. And the fans, look at them! They're all looking their best and I'm here still in my pyjamas!" She slung a long coat over her body and did the buttons up; the pyjamas were invisible. Sonia's excitement and tenderness gave another life to the tedium of touring, and I know the girls really appreciated it.

Outside, in the fresh English air, we were serenaded off the bus by a group of fans singing 'Call It Off'. Although they were behind railings, the passion and utter excitement on their faces was evident. Tegan, being Tegan, started to sing along with them. Sara too greeted the fans. My camera was at the ready and I wanted to capture this moment. I wasn't alone with my camera; Sonia too was videoing the sing along with her iPad and even Sara was recording it on her phone. At some gigs the girls passed by the fans waiting outside, but this was going to be different, special. I could feel it already. We moved off into the venue and the crowd dispersed back into the queue.

"Maybe you would have been something I'd be good at…. " Tegan was still singing and her voice trailed off as we took off our coats and studied our surroundings. "God, I need coffee! Not a bad backstage area too. So, what are we going to do this afternoon?" Tegan's hyperactivity was unrelenting, even though the bags under her eyes suggested otherwise. She slipped her arm around my waist, automatically, and kissed me on the cheek.

"I'm going to finish my book." Sara said, grabbing a coffee that Johnny had made for everyone and settling on one of the black sofas, her legs tucked under her like a bird.

"Okay. Actually, Sara, I might join you. And later we need to talk about the medley." Tegan plonked herself on the sofa by Sara.

"Yeah girls, you need to add another song into the medley!" Sonia's eyes glittered as she suggested song titles. "Wait, what was that one the fans were shouting?"

"Um, Frozen I think. Damn, I can't remember the lyrics to that one," Tegan said as she scrolled through her ipod to find it.

"Well you were a very vocal youth," Sara smirked, looking up from her book.

"You can't talk, with some of your early obscene sex-driven lyrics." Tegan retorted. Sara blushed, and went back to reading.

Ted joined them on the sofa, resting his head on Tegan's shoulder. "What, you mean I have to learn _more_ chord progressions?"

"Yes! I for one am very excited about tonight's show." Sonia seemed to be in a perpetual state of excitement or at least contentment. "Hey, I want to go shopping this afternoon."

Everybody groaned.

"What? Why are you reacting like that? You know I want to take things back for the house!" Sonia's habit of buying things had begun to be an inside joke; Sara joked that she had 'Expanding Disorder' as her possessions kept multiplying. "At any rate, we should get some fresh air. Anybody care to join me?"

"I'll come." I said. "I think I saw a vintage shop as we drove by anyway. It might be nice to look through some stores, or at least have a walk anyway. Sitting all morning made me feel like a slug." It was true, but I also wanted to spend some quality time with Sonia. She was like a second mother to me.

We got our stuff together, Sonia freshened herself up and changed out of her pyjamas, and then we headed for the door. Just before we left Tegan caught me by the hands. "Don't let her buy too much", she smirked, signalling to her mom. Her tone was flirty and her eyes shone with humour.

"I'll try and keep her under control," I replied, winking, before giving her a quick kiss. I tried to not be too open about our physical relationship in front of Sara. Even though I knew she didn't mind it, I knew it made her miss Stacey more, and I cared for Sara's feelings more than my own physical urges.

As we left the building and headed up the alley to the high street, I realised that this exit lead us straight to the queue of fans outside the building. Our approach was soon noticed, and a cluster of fans crowded round the gate which let us out.

"How do we get out of here?" Sonia questioned. Immediately, of course, the fans had a response.

"The green button! Press the green button!" I pushed the button and the gate buzzed open, letting us out onto the street where it was absolutely pissing it down with rain. I'd left my coat backstage, so my hoodie gave no protection against the torrents of water already soaking us. Thankfully, some girl held out her umbrella and I gratefully hopped underneath. The courteousness of the fans never failed to amaze me, and Sonia and I chatted to them for a while. It was sweet how genuinely interested the fans seemed to be in us, seeing as we were not a part of the band.

"We're going to go shopping!" Sonia exclaimed. "Do any of you know where a vintage store is? I think we passed one when we drove by."

"Yeah it's called Cow!" a fan responded. "It's just up the road! I can take you if you like?"

Not knowing the city, and not wanting to leave the girl with the umbrella, we graciously accepted the invitation. The fan who knew the way lead us up the road, talking all the while to Sonia, while the girl with the umbrella sheltered me on the way and we made small talk. The other people in the queue looked on, evidently realising what had just happened. It was a relief to escape the wind and rain and enter into the warm calm of the almost empty store. Surprisingly, no fans followed us into the store, which was sort of a relief. As much as I appreciated them, I wanted to be alone with Sonia for a while.

Later in the afternoon we returned to the venue. Sara and Tegan were working with Ted to try and fit the new song into the medley. When we'd come back earlier, again past the fans, I noticed that one of the girls had a guitar and they were all singing Tegan and Sara songs. I wanted to go back to see more, so I grabbed my camera and my video camera and made my way once again to the front of the building where the sing along was occurring.

I could hear the fans singing, and a guitar was being played loudly. As I approached, the song ended, and I greeted the fans.

"Could you play me another song?" I asked. "I think it's great; I want to film it!" Discussion ensued as to what song to play. More fans joined the circle of singers, with the guitarist in the middle.

The opening bars to 'How Come You Don't Want Me' played, and I focused my video camera on the guitarist. As the fans started singing, I panned out, videoing the group together and then re-focusing on a few individuals. It surprised me how good they were. They obviously knew every note, every syllable, every inflection of the song. When it finished, I applauded and stopped the film.

"This is awesome!" I exclaimed. "This is just what I wanted the tour to be like – just what I imagined!"

I chatted with the fans for a while, and we took photos, before I checked the time and realised I had to go inside and start getting ready to photograph the support band, Waxahatchee.

I left the fans and re-joined the others inside. They had given me an uplift, and I suddenly felt excited about the prospect of tonight's gig.

"Hey, baby!" Tegan called to me from the couch. I went over and settled myself on the sofa next to her, snuggling up. I had missed her so much.

"Your fans are amazing. They're all outside singing your songs. Look, I videoed it." I showed Sara the video of the fans singing her song.

"They're pretty good, actually," Sara acknowledged.

"Not as good as you," Tegan replied, giving Sara a playful elbow in the ribs.

It was nearly show time, but I had to freshen myself up first. I left Tegan to go and have a shower – yes, a proper shower! – before the night began. It was the last night of the UK tour so I knew the girls would give it their all. This would be a good one.

And it was.

The show lasted a long time, longer than usual, and it seemed that the girls didn't want to leave when we all piled back onto the bus at the end of the night. They were tired though, it was evident. Sara said a hasty good night, and I managed to pull her into a long hug and kiss her cheek before she crawled into her bunk.

Tegan and I stayed up a bit longer, with Jasper and Johnny, at the back of the bus. Ted had already excused himself; he seemed to need more sleep than all of us put together. Sonia was reviewing her purchases and trying to tidy up her bunk.

I was sat close to Tegan, our shoulders pressing together, and she kept resting her hand lightly on my thigh and occasionally kissing me on the neck. I knew what she wanted; we both did. Admittedly I wanted it too, but that was another thing against the rules of the bus. And anyway it wouldn't be respectful to Sonia, or Sara for that matter. Before it became too intense and before we both discarded the rules, I excused myself.

"Guys, I'm so tired," I yawned. Tegan pulled a face at me, and I tried to non-verbally convey my thoughts to her. "I'll see you all bright and early in the morning! Goodbye England, hello mainland Europe!"

Tegan's hand slid around my waist as she tried to keep me there, but I disentangled myself and kissed her on the lips before leaving. "Goodnight, baby. Sleep well." I said, while my eyes conveyed my apology.

"Fine, then. Leave me." Tegan retorted, but I could see the grin hidden under the expression she pulled and I knew she too didn't want to break the rules. "Night, sweetie."

I curled up in my bunk and shut my curtain. I could hear Tegan and Johnny still laughing about something in the back of the bus. Sara's quiet breathing above me indicated that she was already fast asleep. I could hear the tapping of Sonia's nails as she was texting, or possibly updating her blog.

My eyes closed. The bus rolled on.


	2. Chapter 2

The Europe tour was over. The band had played UK, Denmark, Sweden, Germany, Luxembourg, France and Belguim. It had been incredible; the buzz after each show was palpable even the morning after. Yet the constant touring had taken its toll, I could tell. Tegan - yes Tegan – had even grown quiet lately, preferring to listen to her ipod and read after shows than drink beer and play cards with the band. Sara rarely looked up from her book lately. The fatigue took its hold on everybody. Even some members of the band were feeling it. Ted, sweet and lovable Ted, had become impatient and sensitive. Sonia was a blessing in disguise. Her mere presence restored a sense of tranquillity to everybody; her relentless enthusiasm simply didn't allow for people to become miserable. Thankfully we all had just over a week off until the next show, and being home for a while was a blessing.

These were my thoughts as Tegan and I got a cab from the airport back home. It was a relief when I unlocked the door of our apartment and we staggered in with our suitcases.

"Mmmmm that smells good," Tegan sighed, her eyes closed. "Home."

We dropped our suitcases on the floor in the hall, and Tegan wrapped her arms around my waist and pulled me into a hug. Precious seconds ticked by. I sort of enjoyed it when Tegan was tired. Apart from the irritableness, she became a lot more vulnerable, letting her strong wall built of humour and confidence break away. She became infant-like, and I liked it as she became more dependent on me.

"Your hair is gross," I groaned as her head was pressed into my neck. "Please, go take a shower."

She reluctantly pulled away. "You're not too sparkly clean yourself," she replied. "Fine, I'll have first shower. Is there any food around here?" her voice trailed off as she moved towards the bedroom, dragging her huge suitcase along behind her.

I found some bread in the freezer and quickly defrosted it and put it in the toaster, spreading it thickly with butter. Tegan didn't like anything on her toast apart from butter. I brought the plate to the living room and relaxed into the sofa, letting the cushions envelope me. Sleep hovered in front of me, begging to be taken. I heard a few crashes in the bedroom, and guessed that Tegan was probably out of the shower. She walked into the living room in a pair of leggings and a hoodie, towel in hand, attempting to dry the mass of wavy hair which had grown so quickly over the tour.

"God, I feel so much better now," Tegan smiled, letting herself fall onto the couch next to me. She swung her legs up and over mine, and curled almost childlike into me. I slid one arm around her waist to hold her there, the other on her calf. Her hair was wet against my shoulder, but I didn't mind.

"Oooh you made food too," Tegan grabbed a slice of toast and took a large bite. "I'm so hungry," her words were muffled by the food in her mouth. One thing neither Sonia or I had ever managed to teach Tegan was table manners. She always talked with her mouth full and often chewed with her mouth open, and sometimes it irritated me. Right now, though, it just added to her vulnerability, which I took delight in.

Tegan swallowed. "I wonder what Sara's doing now."

"I don't want to know," I replied.

Stacy had come to the airport to welcome us back, and Sara fell into her arms immediately. After months with barely any contact, I was so happy that Sara and her girlfriend were reunited. Sara's loneliness and longing for Stacy on tour had been felt by all of us.

Tegan giggled. "Hrmm, true," she acknowledged, grinning. "Speaking of which…" With one arm around my neck, the other hand rested on my hip and lightly drew circles. She brushed her cheek against mine before lightly kissing my lips. I hadn't been alone with Tegan in what felt like forever. We kissed for a few minutes before she broke away to yawn.

"Man, I'm so tired," Tegan yawned again. Jet lag was the worst. I too was finding it difficult to keep my eyes open. I took a sleepy bite of buttery toast and looked sideways at Tegan. Her face was pale from lack of sleep and the bags under her eyes were a delicate grey. Her eyes, however, sparkled mischievously.

I stroked her cheek as leaned in again to kiss her, brushing her lips lightly. I was surprised by her reaction, as instead of kissing softly as we had been doing before she began kissing me passionately, pressing her body against mine. I went along with it for a while, until her hand made its way to my inner thigh. I pulled away.

"Tee…" my eyes questioned hers. As much as I wanted that right now, we were both too tired I knew, and I was looking forward to later when we were refreshed. Her eyes looked back at me, disappointedly.

"Oh come on, we really need to get some sleep." I kissed her quickly on the lips before slowly standing up with her still in my arms. I loved the fact that she was so small and light, and I could lift her up easily even though I was also small. She wound her arms around my neck and tucked her head into my shoulder as I carried her through to the bedroom and placed her gently on the bed. I pulled my shirt over my head and took my jeans off as Tegan wriggled out of her hoodie and leggings. Getting into bed felt like entering heaven. The mattress sank underneath our tired bodies and the covers enveloped us into a soft, warm haven. Tegan was facing away from me and I pressed against her back, holding her waist. I knew how much she loved spooning, and it was infrequently that I managed to be the big spoon. I loved being the little spoon, of course, but the vulnerability Tegan showed when she let me take control was a secret joy of mine. I kissed her shoulder.

"You shouldn't have stopped me," Tegan grumbled. "We haven't had the chance for so long and it would have been fun." Her voice faded as her eyes closed.

"Hush, baby. You're practically asleep now. Later." My eyes traced her warm body. The curve of her shoulder and the soft space between her shoulder and collar bone were reflected in the sunlight seeping through the blinds. I had forgotten it was only mid-morning.

Tegan continued to grumble but her voice grew quieter, and stopped altogether. A second after, her breathing slowed and she was asleep.

"Sweet dreams, baby," I whispered as my head sank into my pillow, my forehead resting against Tegan's back, and I too fell asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

"Oh, shut the fuck up!" Sara's voice carried across the room as she jokingly poked Tegan in the ribs.

From where I stood ordering the next round of drinks at the bar, our table was a raucous of laughter. It was a celebratory gathering after the Europe tour and so all the band, crew, and other halves had congregated in our favourite bar club for drinks.

Tegan had woken me up late afternoon. Jet lag is the most debilitating thing I've ever experienced, so I was still feeling disorientated after having slept all day. After hurriedly getting dressed, we ate and went to pick up Sara and Stacy and then came here.

"Thanks", I paid the bartender and returned to our table with a tray laden with drinks. This was the fourth round. I slid into the booth next to Tegan and her arm was automatically around my waist. "Drink up, baby", Tegan winked, as she sipped from her tumbler of Jack Daniels. She'd already drunk four beers, and I knew this was the final punch which would throw her over the edge of sobriety. I too sipped from my fourth glass of rose. Whilst in Europe, I had developed a taste for wine.

I regarded Sara on the other side of the table. She was laughing at some joke Ted had made, and her arm was securely around the shoulders of her girlfriend. I could see her other hand beneath the table, stroking Stacy's knee. Sara's mood had changed like the flick of a switch since seeing her girlfriend. As if to prove my point, she stood up and started talking.

"Hey, guys, who wants to dance?!" Her eyes sparkled as her grin spread from ear to ear. The guys groaned. "Oh, come on! You're all a bunch of pussies anyway. Lindsey?" I pulled a face and Sara sighed. "Tegan? Or are you too busy eye fucking Lindsey?"

"Who would wanna dance with you?!" Tegan retorted, smiling.

"Jeez guys, you're all so boring." Sara sat on Stacy's lap, wrapping one of her arms around her neck. "What about you?" Sara flirted, kissing her girlfriend's lips. Stacy groaned, burying her face in Sara's neck.

"What do I get in return?" Stacy flirted back.

"Hrmm… you'll have to wait and see." Sara winked and kissed her girlfriend again.

"Ugh fine! Let's go, ballerina." Stacy pushed Sara off her lap and led her to the dance floor.

I don't know whether the wine had finally got to me, or whether the jet lag or simply the lack of sex recently had taken its effect, but I was suddenly aware of the pressure of Tegan's thigh against mine, and I could feel her fingertips on my hip as her arm was protectively around my waist. I reluctantly returned my concentration to the drunken conversation. Ted was giggling as he tried, and failed, to string his sentences together.

"And I didn't even realise that I'd taken it, you know? The wrong trolley I mean, like some girl was probably wandering round the shop looking for her items and I was just buying a bunch of shit I hadn't picked and she had all my shit I don't know. I only realised after I'd paid when I saw I had a bag full of tampon boxes and I was like, shit man, what did I do?! Where's my pizza and beer?!"

Bellowing laughter ensued, and became even louder as everyone became progressively drunker. I was becoming too distracted from the conversations around me as my mind wandered, focusing on Tegan's mouth as she laughed and feeling her hand slip between my knees. I wondered if she was feeling the same way, so I faced her and leaned into her shoulder. Her eyes caught mine and our lips joined magically, working together in perfect unison.

"Get a room!" Sara yelled as she came back to grab her drink before rushing off to find Stacy again.

I took her offhand comment literally. Maybe we could get a room. Tegan was talking to Jasper but I knew she had heard Sara as her hand traced over my thigh. I lightly tapped Tegan's thigh and drew a question mark with my finger. We often joked about, drawing letters and words by touch on each other, and I knew she understood me this time, as she almost unnoticeably tipped her head into a nod, all the while continuing the conversation. Our moment came as Ted came back with another beer and fell into the table, laughing and shouting and generally causing a scene as the other guys tried to clean him up. My fingers interlocked with Tegan's as we both stood up and quietly left the guys alone, walking invisibly to the restroom.

As soon as the bathroom door was shut and locked, Tegan's mouth was on mine, her hot tongue tasting of beer playing with mine. I wasted no time, unbuttoning her shirt as she simultaneously pulled my t-shirt over my head. It was fast, close and hot as we rapidly got our hands over each other, my arms running down Tegan's bare sides and kissing her chest as she quickly unfastened my bra and cupped my breasts, pulling on my hard nipples.

I could feel the door handle digging into my back as Tegan moved down my body, kissing my collarbone and my chest before taking my nipple into her mouth. Her tongue flicked against it making it even harder, and I could feel my underwear already becoming wet.

"God, I want to fuck you so hard," Tegan breathed in between passionate kisses, her hand on my ass.

"I need you," I gasped, as her right hand was already unbuttoning my jeans. Her left hand had moved up my side and her fingers were now circling my nipple, her mouth once again locked on mine with our tongues battling for domination. My body burned and I yearned for her touch. It was embarrassing how wet I already was for her.

My jeans finally unbuttoned and Tegan's hand slid into my underwear.

"Oh my god you're so wet," Tegan moaned, and I couldn't reply as she bit on my lip, her fingers teasing my clit. I was throbbing for her. She started rubbing my clit hard, sending shivers up my spine as my body reacted to what it had desired for so long.

After a few seconds of intense pleasure I wanted more. I bucked my hips into her, making two fingers enter my body. I gasped. Tegan's fingers began slowly stroking my insides as her thumb still rubbed my clit. I wanted it rougher. I thrust my hips back and forth against Tegan's arm and she sped up, pushing into me at a rate that got faster and went deeper each time, until her fingers were in me up to her knuckles. My breathing turned into moaning, which got louder and repetitively punctured the silence as each thrust from Tegan triggered an outburst from me. "Oh, God, Tegan… Yes." I was unable to form words as my mind was taken over by the pleasure I was experiencing. Her fingers were so fast, so agile, so delicate that I could no longer tell where I ended and where Tegan began. My body was shaking by this point, her fingers entering me harder and faster by the second. Even Tegan's breathing was rapid and uneven as she breathed into my neck, her body pressing closer against mine. I needed to orgasm, the pleasure building up inside me so hard I thought I was going to explode.

"Yes, yes, yes," I repeated, my voice getting higher and louder as I neared climax.

The wave was nearing the shore, getting so high and powerful it was amazing it hadn't broken yet. It inched closer, still building. Finally it crashed onto the beach, spilling into a thousand smaller waves which each lapped onto the shore until the sea calmed once more.

"YES!" I couldn't help screaming as Tegan's fingers pushed deep into me once more and my body jerked, sending my mind into override and rendering me helpless as the wave of intensity washed over my body. My underwear was wrecked and Tegan's hand was left soaked as she gently pulled out of me, slowly stroking me before wrapping her arm around my waist and kissing me passionately.

For a few moments I was unable to think, feel or do anything. Then my mind regained consciousness and I decided that I needed to give Tegan what she wanted.

My lips were on Tegan's shoulder, and they traced their way down her body, over her chest, breasts and stomach until they rested on her hip. I gently unfastened Tegan's jeans and pulled them down along with her boxers. Thankfully, she needed me too much to protest. I lightly kissed my way from her hip bone to the top of her thigh, and lingered there a second as I looked up at her. Her eyes were closed and she deftly licked her lips before biting her bottom one. "Please…" she murmured.

I responded quickly, as my tongue found its way between her legs to her warm centre. She was already dripping wet, and I rested one hand on the back of her thigh, the other snaked up her body to play with firm breasts, as I pleasured her.

"Lindsey… Linds," Tegan moaned as my tongue worked on her. She was so sweet, so soft, and her legs trembled as I began to speed up the pace. "Oh!" She let the cry slip out of her mouth and placed her hand on my shoulder, pushing me further into her. I continued, not letting up once. I was not going to stop until she was through. Her legs began to shake more as the pleasure became more intense, and she tilted her head back as her mouth fell open, her ragged breath containing occasional moans of delight. We were nearly there. I was right, as it took simply a few more seconds until Tegan's hand tangled into my hair and a scream escaped her lips, her legs shaking so hard I was amazed she was still standing straight. I didn't let my mouth leave her, working my tongue until she had finished and I'd licked up every bit of her sweet juices.

I pulled myself up, as Tegan pulled up her boxers and jeans, my arms around her waist as we giggled. She kissed me softly as we dressed ourselves. There was a knock on the bathroom door.

I quickly checked myself in the mirror and flattened my hair as Tegan splashed water on her face.

A knock again.

"Hurry the fuck up I need to piss!" Sara yelled from outside.

I opened the door and came face to face with a flushed Sara, her legs crossed as she desperately waited for the bathroom.

"Hey Sasa," Tegan appeared from behind me and winked, before quickly moving past us and making her way back to the table.

"Oh no, seriously, you guys haven't…?" Sara groaned at me, her eyes questioning mine. I giggled, before too returning to the others.


	4. Chapter 4

I woke up to the sound of rain lashing against the window. Autumn in Vancouver had begun. Under the covers, I could hear the wind and almost sense the coming months with each leaf falling from the trees. It was warm, but outside I knew it would not be so forgiving.

My eyes still closed, I reached across the bed to where my love was sleeping, but my fingers found empty space. I rolled over, and felt reassured that the other side of the bed was still warm, imprinted with the shape of Tegan's body. We'd been in my apartment in LA for the last few weeks, but due to the upcoming tour dates Tegan had to be close to Sara and the guys so that they could frequently rehearse. We only had days left together before Tegan had to tour once again. I felt the dull, impending ache of loneliness, but I at least had other projects to keep my mind occupied whilst my love was gone. I was doing a lot of work for Wildfang at the moment, shooting their models and products and even modelling myself, when asked. I also had smaller gigs and less well known bands who I'd been looking forward to photograph for a while. The next few weeks would be difficult, but we'd gone through worse. Much worse.

Not wanting those memories to flash across my vision, I was just about to get out of bed when Tegan came into the room.

"Ah, you're finally awake, sleeping beauty," Tegan set down two mugs of coffee on the bedside table and lay on top of the covers beside me. Her arm was around me and she pulled me close against her, the covers still between us. "I made you coffee," her voice was soft and she kissed my forehead.

"Thank you, sweetie." This was the first time I'd spoken this morning and so my voice cracked a little. Tegan giggled.

"Got any plans for today?" she inquired, her eyes holding mine.

"Yes, actually. I'm supposed to be meeting Julia and Emma to talk about what angle we want to give the next collection. Kate will be there too and maybe Hannah, but she's probably busy with the band at the moment."

Tegan yawned, "You tomboys are so busy liberating the world. Where are you meeting them?"

"Well someone has to do it. Curious Coffee house at 12." I glanced at the clock next to the bed and jumped, "SHIT! I have to be there in half an hour!" Tegan groaned and pulled me even tighter as I tried to pull the covers off myself and get out of bed.

"Aw you'll be there in time, don't worry. I'll take you there." Tegan yawned again, making me feel tired too.

"Oh, sure, you going to drive me there?" I slapped Tegan playfully. We, or rather I, had an on-going joke about Tegan's lack of a driving license.

She pouted, pseudo-grumpily as if my words had actually offended her, which I took as an invite to kiss her quickly on the lips before pulling myself out of bed.

We both got dressed hurriedly. I threw on the clothes that I'd worn yesterday, which had spent the night in a pile at the bottom of the bed, which was probably a bad idea seeing as I was going to be spending the morning discussing fashion with the coolest people I knew. Oh well, I wasn't modelling today. Tegan pulled on some black skinny jeans and a tank top before grabbing a blazer from the closet.

"How can you look so damn fine when you literally just pulled random items of clothing on in under 30 seconds," I growled. Tegan responded by winking at me through the mirror and tapping my butt lightly. To be honest, I was very fashionable, when I spent time on it. Right now was not one of those moments.

Tegan had already tied her shoes and was out the door and waiting for me by the time I pulled my hair into a scruffy bun and cleaned my teeth. We took a bus into the city centre and wound our way through the backstreets of downtown Vancouver.

Curious Coffee house was one of my favourite places in the city. A tiny second-hand bookshop, its lamp lit, book filled rooms also doubled as a coffee shop, with beanbags and cushions scattered everywhere for its customers. It felt more like someone's house from Narnia than a bookshop come coffee shop. Whenever I went there, I had never seen any more than one other person in the shop at the same time. I wondered how it kept its business going. Anyway, it was perfect for work meetings where we could stay for as long as we wanted and not be heard or interrupted. Especially if Kate was there, we needed to be some place where she wouldn't be recognised. Fans were charming and for the most part lovely and respectful, but they took up time, which we didn't have today.

A bell jingled as Tegan opened the door for me.

"I'll get you some breakfast," she said with a squeeze of my waist, and my eyes followed her as she wound her way through bookshelves and up a spiral staircase to the café. I wandered through tiny corridors and rooms until I found Julia and Emma, perched on cushions, in the poetry section.

"Hey, LB!" Emma greeted me with a smile.

"Sorry I'm late!" I smiled apologetically.

"Late night last night?" Julia winked at me from behind her macbook.

"Something like that," I replied with a sheepish grin as I remembered the previous evening.

I chose an overstuffed beanbag and let myself sink into it. Seconds later Tegan returned, with a chocolate milkshake and a giant blueberry muffin for each of us. She set the tray down on a small table before squishing herself on the same beanbag as me, despite the fact that there was another beanbag and a few cushions free. Her lips grazed my cheek before she started on her milkshake.

"Thanks, baby," I hugged Tegan lightly before too starting on my incredibly healthy breakfast. "But are you trying to get me fat or something?" I giggled.

"You know I like a curvy woman," Tegan winked at me. I acted offended, even though I knew she was teasing. She responded by squeezing my waist and kissing me on the forehead, and I couldn't suppress a smile.

"You've been in here, what, 5 minutes, and you can't keep your hands off each other already," Emma teased.

"Can you blame me?" Tegan retorted with a smirk.

A movement from the corridor caught my eye and I watched as Kate strode in, tall, confident, dressed very biker-chic in Doc Martens and a leather jacket.

"Hey, Kate!" I greeted her from my beanbag while Emma got up to give her a hug. We all knew that Emma had a crush on Kate, as she wasn't good at keeping it concealed. Julia smirked at me.

"You're looking very Shane today," Tegan joked.

"Well, one tries. Especially when I'm seeing you lovely ladies," Kate said with a hint of sarcasm, making us laugh.

We spent half an hour chatting before remembering we were supposed to be working. Kate had had a reunion with some of the L word actresses a couple of days ago so we spent a while chatting about them, discussing our favourite plot lines and scenes. Years back, when I had first started dating Tegan, she had made me watch the entire filmography of the L word. Although I spent most of the time we spent watching it staring at Tegan instead of the TV screen, I was glad I had seen it even just so I could participate in the gossip. Anyway, Tegan said I could never be a "real lesbian" until I had watched the L word. Controversial.

Julia brought our attention back to the task at hand.

"And on that note I'll leave you ladies to it. I have to go meet Sara soon and I told Ted I'd call by his place on the way. We're doing some new material for the next lot of shows so it's going to be an intense afternoon," Tegan sighed.

I looked at her face, at every detail that I had already perfectly memorised. She caught my eye.

"I'll probably pop round the studio when we've finished here," I said.

I didn't want to invade the band's rehearsal but at the same time I wanted to soak up every second I had with Tegan. The guys didn't mind me being there watching them rehearse, and I would probably go and get coffee with Stacy or something if she was there. Stacy and I spent a lot of time together recently, talking about the girls or the tour or whatever else we were up to. We got on really well, and she benefitted from my experience, as I helped her through times when Sara was on tour and my stories of being with Tegan reassured her.

"Okay baby," Tegan murmured into my neck as she kissed my collarbone, both arms around my waist. My arms were around her neck and we held each other tight for a long moment before she kissed my lips. After a while I broke away.

"Go!" I giggled, pushing her upright. She groaned.

"Ugh fine, I know you want to get rid of me anyway," Tegan joked, picking up her bag and gathering the empty milkshake cartons together before saying goodbye to the others.

"It was great seeing you, Tegan!" Kate smiled and Emma waved as Tegan gradually left. Julia said farewell and Tegan gave me one last look as she walked out.

"Later, bitches!" She called from the corridor.

We spent the next two hours discussing previous and upcoming interviews, magazine articles, new products, new models and new photo-shoots that had to be done. I was really excited for this. Wildfang was a great clothing store, as well as a movement, and I felt honoured to be the one to capture it. Julia and Emma gave me a lot of room to manoeuvre, and were always keen on getting my opinion and my own take on things. The models were great to photograph as well. Girls like Kate Moennig, Hannah Blilie and Megan Rapinoe were so refreshing to focus on and I enjoyed capturing their individual styles as well as the Wildfang spirit. The atmosphere was so inductive to creativity.

"Well, we may as well leave it at that for now," Julia concluded, as she packed up her macbook. "I have to go type this up for the sponsors so I'll see you next week! It was lovely seeing you Kate, Lindsey. I'll see you tomorrow Em." She stood, and gave us all hugs before strolling down the corridor. I faintly heard the bell jingle a few seconds later.

I was finishing up my notes and gathered my pieces of paper together.

"Hey, uh, Kate? I'm staying in town for a bit now… did you maybe want to go get something to eat?" I heard Emma's tentative question and smiled to myself. Finally, she had plucked up the courage to do something about her crush. I waited anxiously for Kate's reply.

"Yeah, sure. I'm starving." Kate smiled confidently. Even Kate knew that Emma had a crush on her, and I'm glad that she was being nice to Emma. Who knew, Kate might even feel the same way. I'd have to ask her about it later. I glanced up and saw a poorly concealed grin spread across Emma's face and she looked down, embarrassed.

I took the slightly awkward silence as a cue to leave, and stood up, purposely making some noise.

"Well, I'll see you girls next week! Great seeing you both!" I hugged them in turn before turning and walking down the book-lined corridor, through a labyrinth of libraries to once again step onto the Vancouver streets.

Outside, the rain had cleared and the sun shone onto the still wet pavements as I meandered through the backstreets, taking my time. It wouldn't take me long to reach the studios where the girls and the band were rehearsing. The day was crisp, clear, beautiful, and I walked slowly, enjoying being outside and having fresh air in my lungs.


End file.
